Archive for November, 2006
Say a little prayer
Every day in every way
It’s getting better and better
Last night, Lucy fell asleep in my arms. I sat with her on the couch, sunken into the pillows, in the dark. The boys were off in one of the rooms, playing the games that little boys play. It was just Lucy and me, one of those quiet moments that I long for. As I sat there in the dark, listening to my music, I had one of those dad moments that can’t be easily explained. All I could think of was that I love holding her. I think of when she might not want me to hold her, and it almost, almost makes my eyes water up. I think of how fast the boys are growing up and how much harder it is to stop them for a second just to give them a hug.
I came across John Lennon’s “Beautiful Boy” as I was scrolling through my mp3s. It was a favorite song of mine to sing to Josiah when he was a baby. I love the words and how much assurance they have. I sang it quietly to Lucy, hopeful that she could feel that assurance in my arms.
Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age
But I guess we’ll both just have to be patient
‘Cause it’s a long way to go
A hard row to hoe
Yes it’s a long way to go
But in the meantime
Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you
While you’re busy making other plans
Not in the holiday spirit yet? Here are some events happening around Richmond this week that just might get you there…
12/1 Grand Illumination, Downtown Richmond
12/2 Christmas Parade on Broad Street
And if you can’t get enough, there is always the Tacky Light Tour.
Have fun, and Happy Holidays!
EDIT: Matt sent me a link to the Tacky Light House tour Website. Enjoy! Thanks Matt.
Small clip from the movie. We watched it tonight and think everyone should watch it.
( I need to sell my suv ) *sigh*
It’s been fifty-two days since I had my knee surgery and I’m still limping along on my crutches. Aside from the inconvenience of not being able to hold anything and being really slow, it has not been the end of the world for me. (Don’t question the wife about this… you might get a totally different answer.)
I generally feel like I’m in the way of everybody. I was in Georgetown over the weekend, and after walking about five blocks to the stores we wanted to get to, I was pretty tired and specially slow. Most people were kind enough, but about half the people that had a chance to wait for two seconds for me to get out of the way or just let me through ended up making me shuffle out of their way. Oh, well. I guess I can attribute it to the holidays or whatever, but I hope that I have never made someone with a disability feel that way.
But on to bigger and better thoughts… I think I might be getting close to walking without the crutches soon. At least that’s what I keep telling myself and the wife. I’m pretty sure I might have used up all of my “Baby, can you get me…” She has been insanely patient with me, so hopefully I’ll be up on my feet soon and getting up to get whatever my sweet girl wants.
It’s the day after thanksgiving, and it feels like I ate a huge can of sugar and came crashing down.
Jen and I taking each other’s picture
I love Thanksgiving. It’s not all about the turkey and football, the family and the awkward conversations… It’s also the day (nine years ago) that I asked my wife to marry me. How much more thankful could a guy be?
I’ll leave you guys with a great video from Ze… Happy Thanksgiving!
I am so thankful for my family and dear friends (old and new). Your words of encouragement and support have meant the world to me. Thank you dear friends!
There’s a dull ache hanging over our house, very much like a headache that’s about to set in. I can feel it, right in my head. I can feel it starting to sharpen, and I know it will be getting worse before it gets any better.
My mother has unexpectedly dropped into our lives again. It has been a long, long time since I had heard her voice. This was not my choice. I believed I had given her every opportunity to do the right thing. By doing that, I sacrificed myself and my wife. I gave up parts of ourselves that were whole and good, and that resulted in lots of pain and heartache. I was wrong to do that, and I was wrong to give so much up for someone who was abusive.
With one call, thoughts and emotions that I have not dealt with in such a long time pounded me. I felt like I was five years old again, running to my mom after I had been scolded, looking only for her acceptance. I do not want to feel like this. I do not want her to have the control over me she has had for much of my life. I want to protect my family.
I’m not sure where to go from here. I always knew this day was going to come. I just figured I would be the one trying to make reach out to her. My mode of dealing with things is denial. If I pretend things don’t happen then they can’t hurt me. This is so in my face that there is no way to ignore it.
We had a brief break in the process when we took the kids out to see Santa and got home and watched a stupid movie. It was a good break, we had a good time, but through it all, I could feel that dull ache working it’s way through my head.